Monday, 16 July 2012

Sweat, biatch! SWEAT!

I've gone and done it. I have become one of those people I hate. They very thing I always tried so hard not to become. That which I despise...

Oh God... I've joined a gym. I'm a gym member!

I went for my induction yesterday. I went out, joined the council gym, booked myself an induction and then went out to find some workout gear that did not A) cost the earth and B) contain Lycra. I'm a fatty. Lycra is the enemy. So I turned up at the gym, clad in Sports Direct's finest (sale) gear and full of The Fear.

The fitness instructor was really lovely, even though he did make me demonstrate the machine to the other girl on the induction tour. He took and hour or so showing us how all the machines worked, then left us to have a play with them. Being a totes newbie, I stuck to the treadmill and cross trainer for my first time, y'know, break my "gymvinity" gently, so to speak. (May I point out, the much slimmer, fitter girl who was also on the induction tour left ages before I did... QUITTER!)  After working up a good sweat, a phenomenon I have rarely encountered, I had a bit of a sit in the steam room then went home feeling bloody lovely.

I am ashamed to say it, but I enjoyed the gym. I enjoyed it too much and now the sodding place is CLOSED for refurbishment for 3 days. The Gym Gods giveth, and then they taketh away. What am I supposed to do now? Just, like, not go? I really want to go back! I miss the gym so much already that I reassembled my mini trampoline and had a bit of a pathetic bounce to cheer myself up. It didn't work. There's no steamroomy reward afterwards. There's no pool. I suppose I could have a cold bath, then seal up the bathroom door and put the shower on extra hot, but it's just not them same. There's no hairy, middle-aged men in my bathroom for a start. Besides, £35 to sit in my own bathroom and bounce on a mini bouncer on my own seems a bit steep to be fair...

"We should be open Thursday, but you know what the council are like for dragging their feet, so just give us a call Thursday morning to make sure we're definitely open." - You'd better be flippin' open, mate! I have podge to shift, and a new addiction to indulge.

I think the gym has created a monster...

1 comment:

☆kuma girl☆ said...

Ooooh I'm just on the cusp of joining a gym! Just for swimming like. And maybe yoga classes if they have them. I kind of hate the thought of going to the gym in Japan. People stare at me all day anyway, I don't want them staring at me as I sweat my arse off. And they're all scrawny anyway despite their constant carb guzzling, which isn't fair. BUT I wanna get that exercise high you just described!